Women never have young minds. They are born three thousand years old.
– Shelagh Delaney
I discovered something different about me lately. The other day, I was in a group gathering and someone approached me starting to ask questions in a very straight and “digging the whole thing out of you” kinda way. Part of the conversation looked like:
“Do you work?” “No, I am not working.”
“Do you have kids?” “No, I don’t have kids.”
“So you are… staying home?” “Yes… I am staying at home.”
“What occupies you?” “I take care of my husband, make dinner, clean house, and do some freelance photography stuff…”
“What do your husband do?” “He’s an engineer.”
And then I was responded with couple head nods and left alone. Have you ever had this kind of situation? I used to be frightened to be asked this way. I would try my best to describe me in a sophisticated way. I would try to hide the simplicity of my world to make it sound brilliant. But I was faking it and my words are weak.
How strangely I didn’t even utter a single shiny word! I guess I probably have left an impression in the person’s mind: “Oh, she’s just staying at home not doing anything and her husband feed her…(and things like that…)”. That’s what I was reluctant and frightened about before. But right after it happened this time, I immediately found myself relieved. I learned I don’t have to impress others and I am not afraid of putting myself out there – the shine-less part of me. I think it has something to do with believing and loving what I do. I feel I have something that grounds me, make me stay true to myself.
This has been going in my head all the time and I am really glad that it got me thinking of the question “what occupies me?” I am occupied everyday and I always feel I don’t have enough time for the things on my list. Now that I had written down the things that occupies me, I am amused how a husband, a house, a camera, and a computer can keep me busy in a way I feel content and confident.
It doesn’t matter what you do as part of a family, it is how you do and believe it. And, you are not alone.